Finding and Making Use of a Mentor 

“You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another.”

                                                                Proverbs 27.17 

Finding your way in a new job, creating a new job or new career can all be tricky situations. Having a mentor who is more experienced than you who can offer advice and guidance is very useful. It has always been the job of the elders to pass on their experience and knowledge to future generations, and it's the same in the workplace. Having a mentor can help you settle into a new team, deal with any difficulties, and learn to progress in your career.  I've worked with many people on GoBeyondLearning programmes who have successfully used the simple tips I'm about to share with you to go from "I feel out of my depth and unsupported" to finding their feet and being excited about doing the job they love. Whether your organisation provides a mentor or you have to find your own, make the most of the relationship by asking questions and gleaning advice from them.

1. Mentoring while having similarities to coaching, is fundamentally different. A mentor has experience in a particular field and imparts specific knowledge, acting as adviser, guide, tutor, or teacher. In contrast the coaches role is not to advise, but to assist clients in uncovering their own knowledge and skills and to facilitate clients in becoming their own advisers.

The differences between coaching and mentoring can be most easily highlighted through the metaphor of driving a car:

• When I'm mentoring I will share tips from my own experience of driving cars.

• When I'm coaching I will encourage and support you in driving the car in a way that’s right for you.

2. Choose A Mentor Ideally a mentor is someone who you recognise as having the resources you want for yourself. It helps to choose someone who started where you are starting from and who has achieved the kinds of results that you wish to achieve in the way that you wish to achieve them. For example, rather than choose someone who has always been a skilled communicator if you recognise that you are not, choose someone who also wasn't but who learned how to become the person that you want to be.

3. Know What You Want It's a good idea to know what you want from mentoring. Be clear about what you want to have happen as a result of the mentoring. Make a list of the skills or qualities that you would like to be able to acquire or develop for yourself. Take some time to think about whether your possible mentors have these skills? What do you see and hear that tells you they have these skills? When you get these skills, what will that do for you?

4. Skills and Qualities Identify the people in your life who have the kind of skills and qualities you want. If, for example, you want to develop more in terms of leadership and influence, listen to what other people are saying about the leaders or inflluential people around you - would you like to have the same said about you?  Who do you feel would be an accessible mentor?

5.Decide what kind of contact you would like to have with these possible mentors and how often. Ask them clean questions to model how they do what they do well. I would also suggest that you shadow them and see them in action as they actually do what they do.

6 . Build Rapport. You can be guaranteed that if your potential mentor feels that you are genuinely interested in their expert knowledge and experience, they will have a genuine interest in developing your knowledge and experience. If you can build a rapport, you will be more genuine and this will turn into a successful mentoring relationship. 

7. Discuss and agree with your potential mentor(s) how you will work together

8. Practise New Ways of Being You might need to step into a bigger pair of shoes. To create a new job or a new career you will have to learn to be strong when faced with challenges. One way to do this is to emulate someone successful you admire, and when the times get tough, ask yourself, what would my mentor do?  How would they be being right now – powerful?  Unstoppable? Bold? Then be like them. In time, you'll be who you want to be.

So there you have it - no great plan, no magic formula, just a well thought out approach. Remember to ask for what you want - afterall the more positive you are in your approach, the more positive a potential mentor will be in you becoming their next success.

About The Author

Angela Watson is a communication expert and course director of GoBeyondLearning, professional growth, training and development solutions, that have been used by 100's of people to cause breakthroughs in their personal lives as well as their careers, generating communities of excellence around the world. In GoBeyondLearning courses, people cause positive shifts and new found confidence in themselves, their performance, communication, relationships, and their future.  For more information please visit www.angelawatsonnlp.com